I married a couple of years back. I am a Bengali from India. Before marrying, I mean, registering our marriage, I had lived with my partner for 7 years. We were open about it. It was still a taboo in India, especially Kolkata couple of years back. But we were in Bangalore and it was during the time of Corona.
I was traveling for my blog Orange Wayfarer before this.
Anyway, our wedding registry was a hurried and small affair. We had to leave for the US as covid restrictions opened up.
We had little to no time to deal with relatives post wedding. I had to wrap up my life in the Bangalore while my husband had already moved for the US.
But we came back in the December of 2022. It was the end of Covid, well almost. We wanted to celebrate the wedding with everyone. Everyone in Indian context usually translates to at least a thousand people, may be.
So there, we had a party with thousand people. Most of them I did not know or may be I would never meet again.
But there were people, whom I thought to be very close to me. They were nice till I left for the US.
When I came back they were changed persons!
The summers I spent with this cousin of mine. She did not speak to me for a minute during and after the wedding.
I can go on and on.
So yeah, the first change you will notice would be people. People who were once closest to you will change overnight, and avoid you, and will never explain their change. It will burn you from within but you will learn to live with it.
Secondly, the patriarchy. It is in the small things but it will appear on your everyday life and you would know it is not right.
The third change may or may not come from your parents. That too is a part of patriarchy. There would be an alienation from their part. “Or to biye hoye geche!” She is now married! SO? I would never find the answer yet again.
With a marriage, the good thing would be your partner though. You are lucky if you have a nice partner. The nice here is a loaded word, mostly with support, rest is love.
A supportive partner would help you make the new house home.
A supportive partner can actually inspire you to change your dreams and chase it faster.
Marriage also empower you with a bunch of legal privileges. For example, getting a Schengen visa as a solo woman traveler gets surprisingly easy!
